Friday, January 31, 2020

War Around Me

    I see loved ones, people I care about, falling victim to relapse. Why do we have such a hard time with this? This disease has a grip on us that, without support, is almost impossible to beat. Please, find help! Find a sponsor. Find fellow recovering addicts. Do whatever it takes to stay sober. We are powerful together. I love you all and together we will find a way.

Thursday, December 19, 2019

Holiday Fight

 Christmas time is upon us and the New Year is right around the corner. Like me, a lot of people in recovery will find this a trying and difficult time. We think back to years before when all we thought was fun was drinking or using. Can there really be fun around the holidays without our addictions? Some things I like to to think about around this time are, my family gets a sober father, husband and son. I get to remember that fun and make them into memories. We don't have to be selfish and wallow in our guilt of the past. We can move forward! We are SOMEONE to somebody!

 This holiday season can be different for you and I. When we get the urge to use, or relapse is looking us dead in the eye, we can try to remember someone who needs us. For a lot of people this time of the year is a depressing time. For us however, it should be a time of joy. We beat our demons and are winning the fight everyday. We need to start loving ourselves and give ourselves praise for what we have done. This holiday season, share your joy, your love and never give up the fight!

Merry CHRISTmas and Happy New Year to all.

Monday, December 9, 2019

Sober Living

 Most of you know that a Sober Living Home can be a great choice coming out of treatment. I'm thinking about opening one in my home town. We do not currently have one and I feel that there is a need. I just want to find a way to give back to those in recovery. Is this something I should do? Does anyone have any advice? I would love to hear from you. Thank You.

Friday, November 29, 2019

How do you win the fight?

  You can win the fight of recovery, in sometimes, unthought of ways. I have a list that I try to follow daily, because I struggle a lot. Over the next week, I'll talk about my list. Today I want to talk about HEALTY HABITS. In addiction, let's face it, our habits are not healthy for us. If I would have stayed on the path of my addiction, I surely would have wound up dead. Leaving behind a Wife and Kids that I'm everything to. We get so caught up in our addiction, and our addiction takes control of us to the point that we don't see our habits as unhealthy. Until we learn how to change our habits and make them healthy, we can not recover.

 So, what are healthy habits? According to, "healthy habit is any behavior that benefits your physical, mental, and emotional health. These habits improve your overall well-being and make you feel good. Healthy habits are hard to develop and often require changing your mindset." 
Medically reviewed by Debra Rose Wilson, PhD, MSN, RN, IBCLC, AHN-BC, CHT on August 4, 2016 Written by The Healthline Editorial Team

 Often, our habits in addiction do make us feel good, but are far from healthy. When I was about to be released from treatment I knew that I had to change my habits. Like a lot of you I had my doubts. How could I have fun in life anymore? It's going to be so boring. I was trying to mentally relapse before I even started. 

 What sets us addicts apart is our addictive personality. We set our minds on something and we go ALL out. It's programed in us. Understand, we will always be that way. We can't change this, we have to learn around it. Make sure that you don't turn a healthy habit into an unhealthy habit.

 For example, I have found a love for walking. I started it in treatment and immediately developed a passion for it. Hey, I also lost about 20lbs doing it for a few weeks. So it must be healthy right? Well, the problem was, I loved it to much! I started walking every morning  and night. It consumed me. I found myself only thinking about walking. My quality time with my family started to suffer. I had to learn a balance between the two.

 I encourage you to find your healthy habit. Find something that motivates you, that drives you to be better. Release the bad habits and focus on the fight.

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Thoughts for the Day

 This day is coming to an end. My addiction tempted me a few times but I overcame the urge. I have found things to help me cope. I have a Therapist. I have Celebrate Recovery. I have my Church, but the biggest thing I have is my family. Non addicts often ask me, "How does your addiction affect your family and loved ones?" It's never easy on the ones who love you. For years I was the one doing no wrong. I wasn't "Hurting" you! You were the one that "had" the problem not I. Look, I'm a "happy drunk." When our addiction has full control over us, it lies to us. It manipulates us into thinking we can just "have one." We manipulate those close to us to get what we want without any regards to their feelings or wants. As I sit here and look at my sweet Wife and Children, I can't help but think how truly blessed I am. We as addicts need to fight back at our addiction. We need to know that we ARE good enough and we ARE something to someone!

 Addicts, for the most part, are well functioning assets to society. The stigma that is placed on us is not fair. We are not that old, wrinkled man living under the bridge grasping on to a brown paper bag. We are teachers, policemen, Mothers, Fathers, lawyers, doctors, etc..... We belong. We just have a sickness and a world that views us less than perfect. We just need help to cope with or addiction. The first step is great Time Management. Make yourself a schedule, hour by hour for each day. Your addictive personality will eat this up. You will find yourself not wanting to let yourself down. Please find a strong and healthy support system. For me, that's my wife. Just find yours. In the end, just seeking help is the first step to recovery. Remember, recovery is hard, but together we can win the fight. Goodnight my friends.

My Fight

  I was 17. The best time of my life ahead of me and not a care in the world. Popular in school, played sports and was in a great relationship with my high school sweetheart. As I look back now, a decision that I made on that hot July night would change my life forever. You see, I did not know at that time that I was an addict. I did not know that one thing that made me feel good, would have such a grip on me and my life. That night I had a friend (he was the 21 year old we all hung out with) buy me beer. It was love at first sight. That sweet nectar changed me. It freed me for a moment in my life when I thought I couldn't be more free. However, that night, I started walking down the road to my death. For the next 22 years I let substance abuse consume me and all those around me.

  I have a story to tell. A story of hurt, guilt, happiness, loneliness, and triumph! I want to take you all for a ride in my life. I want to tell you my story. I want to join together with my "brothers and sisters of addiction" and together win "The Recovery Fight"! In this blog will write about my story and my daily fight for recovery. I will share tips on what helps me and share positive feed back from my readers. I am not perfect. I fight everyday. I need you guys more than you know. I look forward to sharing our stories, our defeats and our victories!

 In closing, please feel free to comment on my blog. Ask me questions. I'm an open book and I can not heal and win the fight without talking about my addiction. Together, we will win the fight.